Thanks for your updates on ICEdot. I would like to share that we provide free training and support materials to any EMS or First Responder. It is so important to have identification for yourself, but even more critical is the ability to recognize the identifier and use it. Please share with your EMS friends - contact me directly at mark.tornstrom@icedot.org or through our website under the Medics tab for more information. Thanks
Hello, my name is Laura. I have some questions for you. I have been searching the internet for any advice, and then I came across your blog. I feel as if you are the only person that can understand me and what I am feeling. I was with an EMT Student for over a year and a half. This individual was an EMT before, but after a loss of a friend, resigned. After some time, they decided they wanted to get back into the field and is recently going through clinicals at Saint Joseh's Emergency Care Center. As soon as this individual started clinicals, they began to withdraw from me. They started to become distant and ultimately told me that they did not want to be with me anymore. I know this person very well, and I know that the things that they are seeing in their clinicals is having a devastating effect on them. They are pushing me away when all I want to do it help. I know they need to cope and deal with things in a healthy way. How can I be there when they won't let me? Did you experience this with your husband? What can I do? I love this person so much and it kills me that I can't be there when I know they need it.
Hello Laura, I'm going to let my husband to try and answer this, as he may have an answer for you. Hi Laura, this is the EMT, and I'm sorry to hear what's going on. I will do my best to try and help you figure out what's going on. I get the impression that it's a case of trying to move on, starting over fresh, as it were, and that they may feel that you're a reminder of a part that's trying to move on from. You were there when this loss had happened and you may serve as a reminder. Please don't take this the wrong way, as this is not my attempt to say it's your fault. I'm just offering one idea. It could be a case of them feeling that you'd never be able to understand what they are feeling or that they may not be able to talk to you. They may not be able to express their feelings or emotions to you, and that if they did, you'd think them weak. From my 10 years in EMS, I have seen many co-workers go through break-ups, divorce, or have just lost their way. In this profession, the divorce rate is staggering, and it's almost always because the significant other doesn't get what we do. I have been lucky, in that my wife has always supported me, and knew from the beginning what the job entailed. She knew after awhile that it was no 9-5 job, there was stress, and very difficult at times. She was an ear to bend, a shoulder to lean on, or a hand to lift me up when I had a call not end well. She has always has been my biggest support system since day one and maybe that's what this person needs. Let them know that you're there for them, no matter what, and that you will not be allowed to be pushed away. Try to have them understand that you know what they be experiencing because you were a student at one time. Please, whatever you do, don't give up on them, because in the end, it may well be you that can guide them from where they are now.
Thanks for your updates on ICEdot. I would like to share that we provide free training and support materials to any EMS or First Responder. It is so important to have identification for yourself, but even more critical is the ability to recognize the identifier and use it. Please share with your EMS friends - contact me directly at mark.tornstrom@icedot.org or through our website under the Medics tab for more information.
ReplyDeleteThanks
Hello, my name is Laura. I have some questions for you. I have been searching the internet for any advice, and then I came across your blog. I feel as if you are the only person that can understand me and what I am feeling.
ReplyDeleteI was with an EMT Student for over a year and a half. This individual was an EMT before, but after a loss of a friend, resigned. After some time, they decided they wanted to get back into the field and is recently going through clinicals at Saint Joseh's Emergency Care Center. As soon as this individual started clinicals, they began to withdraw from me. They started to become distant and ultimately told me that they did not want to be with me anymore.
I know this person very well, and I know that the things that they are seeing in their clinicals is having a devastating effect on them. They are pushing me away when all I want to do it help. I know they need to cope and deal with things in a healthy way. How can I be there when they won't let me? Did you experience this with your husband? What can I do? I love this person so much and it kills me that I can't be there when I know they need it.
Hello Laura, I'm going to let my husband to try and answer this, as he may have an answer for you.
DeleteHi Laura, this is the EMT, and I'm sorry to hear what's going on. I will do my best to try and help you figure out what's going on.
I get the impression that it's a case of trying to move on, starting over fresh, as it were, and that they may feel that you're a reminder of a part that's trying to move on from. You were there when this loss had happened and you may serve as a reminder. Please don't take this the wrong way, as this is not my attempt to say it's your fault. I'm just offering one idea.
It could be a case of them feeling that you'd never be able to understand what they are feeling or that they may not be able to talk to you. They may not be able to express their feelings or emotions to you, and that if they did, you'd think them weak.
From my 10 years in EMS, I have seen many co-workers go through break-ups, divorce, or have just lost their way. In this profession, the divorce rate is staggering, and it's almost always because the significant other doesn't get what we do. I have been lucky, in that my wife has always supported me, and knew from the beginning what the job entailed.
She knew after awhile that it was no 9-5 job, there was stress, and very difficult at times. She was an ear to bend, a shoulder to lean on, or a hand to lift me up when I had a call not end well. She has always has been my biggest support system since day one and maybe that's what this person needs. Let them know that you're there for them, no matter what, and that you will not be allowed to be pushed away. Try to have them understand that you know what they be experiencing because you were a student at one time.
Please, whatever you do, don't give up on them, because in the end, it may well be you that can guide them from where they are now.